I’m currently pregnant if you didn’t know and I have a few things to say about that… good and „bad“.
First of all: mothers with easy pregnancies, I envy you. In a good way, but still. Mine isn’t easy and usually I’m a tough cookie when it comes to health, but this is a whole different ball game.
Nausea? Check. Severe sickness at any time during the day even past the first trimester? Check. 3-day hospital visit due to severe sickness? Check. Breathlessness? Check. Bleeding? Check. Cramps down below? Check. Sleeplessness? Check. Stuffy nose at all times? Check. Boob pain? Check.
This is all I can think of right now, but that list is quite full, if you ask me. And here’s what I want to say about that: what I’ve learned so far is, that there are two kinds of mothers. The one kind is complaining all the time about any little thing they might feel. The other kind doesn’t voice any discomfort at all and appears like the overlord of pregnancies (or overmum). The first kind is pitied and the last kind either admired or hated. Why isn’t there a healthy in-between? I tell you why: because women are confused as to what is expected of them.
Magazines, celebrities, blogs, YouTube channels etc. are telling us to embrace motherhood and pregnancies like it is some sort of event and society around you doesn’t give enough credit for what you’re going through at the moment. „She’s tired again.“ „She says she’s ’sick‘ again“. „She isn’t sick she’s just pregnant.“ „It was her choice so she should deal with the consequences.“ And phrases like that.
Saying that I totally get why many women are confused or afraid to voice their „real“ experiences, because they don’t want to be misjudged. Be seen as weak. Or whiny. I have said so many times „My pregnancy is quite tough due to xyz, but actually I can’t complain.“ Softening my first stance that I’m having a hard time, just to appear „stronger“ or „less complain-y“. How sad.
Here’s to being real: society (and that includes women and men) should accept that there isn’t „one pregnancy“ and every woman has a different experience. Your pregnancy was lovely and you had nothing to complain about? Good for you, I’m glad. Your pregnancy is shitty and you want to talk about it? I’m sorry, here’s my ear. THAT’S how it should be.
On a different note: I am enjoying my pregnancy after all, because it is quite a cool thing. Since my bump is getting bigger, since I feel the baby kicking, since I know the gender (A boy!) and since I’m not sick 24/7 I’m just filled with such a joy. I can’t quite believe it that I’ll be having a son in a few months. I’ll be a mother. A dream coming true.
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